I know you have a new girlfriend, and I’m probably a piece of shit for even thinking of writing this…

I miss you. I miss you more than words can express. I could try to explain how I feel here, I guess.

I know you hated sleeping in front of me, but your breathing was comforting. I don’t know why religion mattered so much to you, but it’s okay. We just weren’t meant to be. That’s what I tried to hard to tell you. You wouldn’t listen—you insisted. “What if we’re together forever?” But even as I hoped for us to stay together as long as you wanted, I knew we would break up in maybe a month. It’s middle school; everyone skips along faster than they should.

I know I’m jumping between subjects a lot, but these are the words I promised I’d never say in front of you.

You know how you apologized, and I didn’t forgive you? I did. I forgave you more than I should. I didn’t want to start arguing. But you blame it all on me, and then you say I’m making it “a big ass deal”.

I’m not getting back with you. Ever. I don’t even think we could be friends again. I mean, something in me wants to. Almost every night since you left me, I’ve dreamt about what would happen if we’d stayed friends. But it won’t happen, ever. We won’t have what we once did. Part of me doesn’t want to accept that those giggles in the back of science are over, but I have to bring myself back to reality. Something is wrong with me, I know. Writing letters to my ex. Letting Lilly text you. I’m just exhausted. From you, from school, from…well, life. I’m so sorry, for everything.

“You’ve broken my heart again, and I fear I have broken yours. And for that, I will never forgive myself.”
Goodbye.
-Lilly