my eyes look for yours in every room i’m in, and it almost makes me want to throw up. sometimes i lie awake at night and imagine your body pressing into mine, your breath lingering on my hair. theres so much i leap to tell you until i remember you aren’t mine anymore. maybe my tea question was stupid, or maybe you just don’t like me. i don’t know why you blocked me months after our breakup, is it because i unblocked you? i only unblocked you because i knew i had the restraint to not stalk your
profile. i didn’t mean to scare you off. sometimes i ask my best friend to go on her alt and stalk you for me. it seems like you’ve become everything you once hated after you left me, and it hurts. i see you in lots of things. in the books i read, in the songs i listen to, in the people i know. i think you’d laugh with me if you gave my conversation a chance. why don’t you talk to me, why are you scared of being my friend? are you afraid i’ll fall for you? because i won’t, i promise you that. you’d laugh at all the stupid things i say and you wouldn’t say anything back, but at least i’d get to know you don’t despise me. i don’t care, not really. but at the same time i do. because you stayed when no one else would. kissed me even when my mouth tasted like vomit. stayed awake to hold me after i woke you up from my sobbing. i miss you, i need you. the person i knew, the girl i loved more than anybody. i know you think im gross, and a mistake, and i know you don’t like girls that way anymore— but i don’t think of you like that. give me a chance – 🧊🍎