tristan, i know i probably shouldnt say this but i need to. i miss you so much. uour all i think about 24/7 im sorry for everything, im sorry i moved on so quick, i never even moved on. i was so forced into that, you dont have to believe me but i need you tell uou. my friend set us up in a position where i couldn’t say no. its such a horrible thing and im so sorry, its hard, and long story to explain and im so sorry. i wont lie, it was nice but i felt horrible, i was stuck. i saw you everywhere, i still do. your smile, garfield, lego flowers, those adidas shoes you always wear. tristan i love you. ive loved you since 6th grade. you dont have to say anything back like that i just needed to get it off my chest. i shouldnt miss you, but i cant stop. this isnt me asking to try again, but an apology. for putting you through all this, i basically ruined your 8th grade and i cant say sorry enough. i should’ve talked to you, i shouldve made the first move, i shouldnt have been scared. i pray that one day you can forgive me. thank you for being there for me, for being my valentine, for messaging me until like 1am, remembering everything, giving me so many chances, watching my favorite movie. that meant so much to me, i dont think youll ever know how much i appreciated that. i miss our little back and fourth banters over text, our matching axolotls that is still on my desk, our hello kitty and dear daniel stickers, the stickers of eachother, i miss you so much. again, this isnt me asking for a do over again, if that were ever to come up as an option, i want it. but not until we both can prove we are ready for it. which i dont think would be rn. i wont expect it to be perfect but i dont care, things will be hard, things will be easy but i know through everything i want to have you there with me. tristan, i dont expect you to say yes or reply at all. i understand if you dont want anything to do with me anymore. i just needed to say that. but the main thing is i hope you dont hate me, i hope you can forgive me, and i hope we find our way back to each other in someway, i dont care how or where or when i just hope it happens. i hope you know i dont hate you, i never did and never will. you are so amazing, and talented, and smart, and loving, and funny, and kind. your smile lights up a room and you are literally just such an amazing soul. i could go on forever. i love you so much tristan. i just had to say that, im sorry for everything and also how long this is, also how long it took me to build the courage to send this msg. thank you 💕