Why was it a phone call? You know it wasn’t the reason you said it was. Was it because you were afraid you wouldn’t go through with it if you saw me? I can understand it if that was the reason. But if you truly believe what you said, I don’t think you’re capable of love. As much as you might want it, you can’t care about anyone more than yourself. You’re cruel for trying. You loved me at my best but discarded me at my worst. That says more about you than it does about me.
I hope you get your shit together. Maybe actually attend your classes once and a while. If you truly want a life where you can be loved and appreciated, maybe try thinking about the struggles and problems that the other person is going through. If you had worked with me to figure out the issues maybe we could have lasted. But everything was a fight with you. You just wanted to argue and blame and victimize yourself so much that you effectively drove yourself insane with trust issues. I’m not denying that I have my issues as well. And it definitely was my fault at the end. Which I will never forgive myself for. However, the way you responded was cruel, harsh, and honestly so damned pathetic I genuinely would rather take a kick to the balls than kiss you again.
That being said, I still can’t stop thinking about you. For two years your were my everything. And now you’re gone. For months I’ve been trying to get over you but your memory is fleeting just out of reach. I miss you so much despite how angry I am at you. Every day I yearn for you but hate you all at the same time. I want to hold you but I also want to watch you suffer the same way I’m suffering. I want you to feel as sick and upset as I do all the time. I want it to feel like you’re falling all day every day. Just like me. You took my heart and crushed it into a thousand pieces and then danced away without a regret. You are a cruel, heartless, and vindictive woman, and I wish you a thousand inconveniences.
May your car to break down on your way to every job interview. May you always have a hair in your food. May you have explosive diarrhea in bumper to bumper traffic and the next exit isn’t for 3 miles. May you always find a rock in your shoe 10 minutes after putting them on. May your Roblox account be shadow banned every month for the rest of your life. May Bloxburg be shut down.
I want you to suffer as I have. I want you to experience an iota of the pain I feel every day because of you. I guess our love couldn’t weather any storm, huh… I hate you and love you. Poodle.
– esd
