I refuse to say your name, I refuse to even write it.
I know you’re married to a man, and I know it’s been years, but you’ve more than likely moved on better in terms of getting over it.
I can’t answer phone calls, I let them leave a voice message, and that’s because of you.
Because of you I can never trust an unknown number again, knowing how you called me years after our breakup just to accuse me again and my body kept the score.
I hated who I became and I do blame you, because I begged to leave and I begged to breakup bc I wasn’t good mentally.
Remember when you threatened to kill yourself and I had to run in the night to play savior?
God, I hated being with you.
Love was there, but you weren’t her, not like in the beginning when it was innocent.
I wish I never dated you, honestly. A stain on my every being.
I doubted myself, my anxiety and stress so bad that my memory is hazy and I have to rely on others, I felt bullied for my hobbies despite sharing the same, and I felt targeted when you kept claiming I’d leave you for a man and that I only liked Asian men bc of kpop so it wouldn’t work between us. How dumb.
I had to prove my sexuality to myself for the next few years, and I didn’t need to.
But you made me doubt every part of me and I spent this time being better without her. I know who I am and I’ll never let you know this version of me.
I hope you’re unhappy, and I’m okay with that sounding bad. You don’t deserve a happy ending, not with how you treated me those 3 excruciating years.