just wanted to add this on bc thats how i work and you know that (plus hopefully never see this) but i shouldve never done that to you in may. i ruined things that, although i said it wasn’t, were important to both of us. i tried so hard to fuck you off and push you away and did incredibly stupid things that hurt you and im sincerely sorry. you know i dont actually see you that way, and im sorry for my laziness that morning after halloweeen and what happened. i sincerely wasn’t trying to fuck you off or be aggressive and would never be (definitely not rn) okay with myself doing something like that to you. i didn’t think you were upset about it or even bothered you at all. im so sorry and i dont know if ill ever be able to love anyone else. good chance ill be homeless soon which is whatever and not ur problem but everything in my life has just gone to absolute shit this summer so im glad you left. ive never manipulated you or lied and im sorry that i made you feel like i have. i still see you out the corner of my eyes sometimes when i least expect it