i don’t even know where to start so i’ll just start with the truth. you changed something in me that i don’t think anyone else ever will. i still think back to branson like it was a lifetime ago. the peace signs in the back seat the stone wall before the fountain show your head on my shoulder while you laughed the necklace moment where it almost looked like a kiss. those little seconds somehow became entire worlds in my head.

you made those moments feel like time actually slowed down. i didn’t have to fake anything. i didn’t have to keep walls up or act tougher than i was. you just let me exist as i am and that meant everything to me.

the late night talks on the doc, where sleep didn’t matter because hearing your thoughts did. the jokes that made no sense but somehow still hit. the times you’d say “you’re stupid” but i knew it meant you cared. i held onto all of it. maybe too tightly.

i remember telling pierce once that i felt like me and you were written into the same page of some story. like fate had tied two threads that weren’t supposed to meet but did anyway. i called it destiny back then because i didn’t have another word for the way you made me feel grounded and lost at the same time.

and yeah, i caught feelings. more than i wanted to. more than i should’ve. i know that part isn’t fair and i know you don’t see me that way. i’ve come to terms with it. i really have. but i can’t lie and pretend it didn’t happen. it’s just that every time you smiled at me or trusted me with something real, i felt like i was part of something good in this world. something rare.

even after everything that went wrong, even after i said things i shouldn’t have, i still care about you. not in a way that asks for anything, not in a way that wants you to change. just in a quiet way that hopes you’re happy, safe, and at peace.

i don’t know what we’ll be years from now. maybe just names in old memories. maybe friends who still check in sometimes. but whatever we are, i want you to know i’ll always be thankful that we ever were.

you were a light in a time i didn’t think light existed.
and even if i fade from your story
you’ll still be the part of mine i never regret.
you were the reason i was alive in the wreckage.