I started submitting messages on other websites because the Unsent Messages no longer really works for me, but..

It freaks me out, it freaks me out bad when I look up your names on any website like that one or this one or the few others I’ve left notes for you to find on, because there’s always a few that aren’t from me. For C, I can understand that it’s a name many people would have, but for Ender or K? My blood runs cold. It freezes up, because the few that aren’t me, do you read them, if you even know they exist, and think they are me? Or do you know who they are? I pray that somehow someway, it’s to a different person completely, I pray, that you’re mines, because if it’s not just you and I, then who?

It’s the same thing that keeps me up when I look up my own names, or nicknames we’ve given each other. Looking myself up, there’s always a lot more messages, and some of them always hit close to home, I’m never really sure which ones are you or if they’re even about me, but I can’t help but pretend they are. It’s like, waterboarding myself but I’m not even trying to get information out of myself, rather, I’m letting this ice block melt far above me, and I’m lapping up every droplet through the moist towel because it’s perhaps the only way I’ll be given something to keep going, something keeping me going. I miss you. I wonder if you look for these. They’re everywhere, but so are you.