I made this purple, you know why because it’s your favorite color right? I never told you it used to be mine too, when I was younger because it was my grandmas too. But then as I grew older I started liking pink more it was soft and gentle like us when we had first been in love. I wish I could go back to those times, last October, November, the summer I spent with my cousin and stepsister and stepmom at my dad’s house. I know I’ll never be able to go back to that time when I had so many friends who made me feel loved, I took it for granted I admit it. I was so lost in my depression I didn’t realize that I had it all, I didn’t feel so alone and I knew I was loved. And the love we had for each other, “puppy love” I whispered in your ear on the bus to hold you hand and you said yes and I saw your face turn red, it sucks, we’ll never be young and in love again, and I miss you so much I miss the night you had to leave and how we both had our first kiss and it was cold I remember what the wind had felt on my neck. And how your hug and touch feels, my mom doesn’t even like you but she’s pretty strict and my therapist put it in an easy perspective for me, that she only took you out of my life so I didnt end mine, because she was so scared of waking up to me not one day. but I miss you oh so much I hope we stay together, I hope you wait for me until im 18 like you promised. please dont ever leave Im crying as im writing all this and I should be doing homework and im trying to save money to buy my own phone and move out when im 18 but if I knew how much this would hurt being apart from you and not talking to you and I miss how bubbly and funny you are too my love, but if I knew it would hurt this much and be this long, I would’ve held you tighter and probably not even had let go. -ryleen