I can’t sleep because I know that it’s over between us. And I know I should stop texting you because you probably moved on, but I haven’t and I don’t know how. I’m really trying but missing you is like missing everything. You have my heart and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to get it back. Whoever you find or whoever finds you needs to make you happier than what you were with me. I want you to know I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted us to end like this. I wore your hoodie to the hospital, they had to basically pry it off me. Even before I left for the psych ward I threatened everybody that if something happened to it I’d find them. I can’t sleep and I can hardly eat. I just want you to be happy, and I know that’s not going to happen with me. So just know I will never stop loving you, even 30 years down the line when I’m married and have 2 kids and live on a farm. It was supposed to be you, forever and always. I’ll love you until we’re old and gray and forget about everything that we did in the past. without you I feel like nothing, just a broken embodiment of a person who was destined for greatness but fell upon reality. Nothing in life is fair, but when I was with you- you made all my life pain go away. They say physical pain quiets pain in the head, but you were the cure for all my heart and headaches. The cure for all my days when my eyes couldn’t stop crying and for days where all I wanted to do was pick up the razor again. Never again will I find somebody as good as you. Never again will I find somebody like you. never again will I fall in love the way I did with you. I love you forever and ever, RLO.