I’m sorry, I know you knew how bad the drinking was, I knew you could taste it on my breath even when I brushed my teeth before coming inside. I want you to know I’m 8 months and 8 days sober. Every time I think of the time I had with you, I think about that. I just didn’t know how to deal with everything. Losing you had a lot of impact on my decision to quit drinking. It felt like it was completely my fault, like if I had been able to take care of myself, maybe…I don’t know. Now I don’t know if you really liked me calling you Benny or not either. Sorry if you didn’t.