To my dearest Aryan.
Aryan, idk if it will even work between us. I really hope it does and I love you so much but I doubt we would end up tg in the future. You will always have a special place in my heart and I will always love you, forever. No I am not moving on, no I haven’t lost feelings, yes I am still waiting 6 years, and yes I still have some hope for us. Lately I haven’t been feeling the best. I just want to cry on someone’s shoulder I really need someone js anyone atp that’s how desperate I am. That’s why I wanted to talk to you so much. I want your attention so fucking bad. I’m so disgusted by myself. But the one time you fucking text me is to talk about my reposts. I want a genuine conversation with you, each time I try to talk to you it’s always me responding as fast as I can and then just waiting to get a response. I know we’re supposed to be distancing. But have you ever acknowledged my feelings? I’m sorry. I always fucking apologize first and I don’t even know why. Its always the same fucking excuse for you. Did you know that you can show how much you care in different ways? And for me its how much effort you put into talking. Yes we’re supposed to be distancing but can you at least show some fucking effort? You and Lani are all I have left, clearly you’re out of the picture though. Aryan, all I want is to have one real conversation. Without it ending with “I’m sorry” or “sorry for being so sensitive” because at this point that’s all I know how to say. No I’m not blaming you for any of this. I’m sorry if my standards were too high. I’m sorry if I upset you in any way. I’m sorry for being a bitch. I fucking hate how I feel, I don’t want to be like this. I don’t want to have any emotions. I sorry for writing this. I’m sorry for being in your life, ill leave if you ask me to. I love you so much my sweet boy, please if you read this, which I highly doubt, message me. I really want to talk. Please don’t hate me. I’m sorry. I love you. Please don’t leave me I need you.