How are u? How’s everything going? I hope ur happy on your uni, and that this is something truly good for you. I’m honestly so, so happy for you more than you can imagine. I know how much you wanted this, so I’m truly happy for you from the bottom of my heart.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this, but I just feel like I need to say it so I can feel at peace.
I’m sorry. And thank you.
I’m sorry cos u donot deserve that from me. I hurt you in ways I wasn’t even aware of, and it affected you silently but eventually it showed. So I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being overly sensitive and making you compare yourself to things you never did. I’m sorry for always staying in that zone of “the girl who has everything going wrong and doesn’t know what to do.” And I’m sorry for the times I didn’t help you help me.
Thank you for being there for me. Thank you because your attempts to help me still impact me even now. And thank you because even after we drifted apart, you helped me see the things in myself that I needed to fix.
I’ve become a better person now, Mohamed. I’ve started to see the glass half full. I’ve actually started to be there for myself. I’m no longer so hard on myself. I’ve started taking action without blaming myself for everything. I’ve made myself my priority.
I’ve become the good person you were trying to help me become.
But you’re not here so I can tell you that.
behavior or the hints you’re dropping — and honestly, the only explanation I can come up with is that maybe you were playing with me all along. And I really don’t want to believe that.
But I truly wanted to tell you that I became that better person you were trying to bring out in me — and unfortunately, you’re not here anymore.
I miss you, but not the version of you that exists now. I miss the version of you that used to be with me.
I regret not hugging you tightly the last time we met — if I had known it was going to be the first and last time, I would’ve held on longer, tried to take in as much of you as I could.
And by the way, I’ve become a lot more chill now. A completely different person, honestly.
I love you — but not the person you are now. I love the guy I was with for two years.