Yk I cried today when I was with my bf. I walked with him crying without him even caring. I never realized how hard it was to wait a month after rejection, knowing you don’t care and wouldn’t even reconsider how I felt. We’re not close, but I was genuinely happy back then when we talked, even if there wasn’t much time. He wiped my tears not knowing I was crying bc of you. I really am selfish.

It feels weird to send how I feel thinking you might read it. I know once you head off to university you’ll move on and I won’t hear from you again. It sucks because I’m not happy, but I’d rather not be happy than be alone. I keep remembering you once said high school relationships never lasted, or when you mentioned you missed that other girl, I’ll admit I was jealous, even before too. And when you had so many talking stages and girls liking you, I couldn’t help but want to be a little greedy. I stepped out of my comfort zone, risking my relationship, just to chase that chance with you. I know that makes me a bad person, and I’ll take accountability for it. Even if you rejected me again, it wouldn’t matter, because the truth is, I’d rather thug it out then deal with rejection than with that ill never regret trying with you at all.

I’ll let you enjoy your first week at school. Honestly, if I had just one day with you, I don’t think I could be happier, even if there were no feelings involved, friends. I never had a guy friend before

Also, I think this will be my last message for you on this weird site. It feels childish for me to keep expressing myself here, but the truth is I’ll probably still think about you, even if you never think about me again. You left an impression on me, it was the first time I ever tried for a talking stage, the first guy I ever really talked to in my high school days. I never thought I could act so crazy over someone 😂. But I hope you at least remember that someone once cared for you more than you realized instead of me saying “you were gonna leave eventually”. I just wanted to stay even if it wasn’t your full all. anywayssss im already in trouble haha so ig ill see you when you say the word.