What happened between us—how suddenly everything just ended—has been really hard to process. You were one of my best friends. Not just in name, not just someone I spent time with, but someone who knew me. You knew things about me that no one else did. You understood me in a way I didn’t even have to explain. There were moments I genuinely felt like I could say anything to you and you’d get it — no judgment, no hesitation. That kind of closeness doesn’t happen often. It’s rare. And to go from that to being blocked, like I was disposable or dangerous or disrespectful, has left me feeling really hurt and really confused.
The thing is, I never tried to make you uncomfortable. I never crossed any lines or even said anything, because I valued what we had. I cared about you, yes — maybe in more ways than I meant to — but I was always so careful. I was trying so hard to protect what we had, to protect you. And being told that I was disrespectful just for feeling something I couldn’t help — for feeling it quietly and keeping it to myself — that really crushed me. It made me feel like I wasn’t allowed to exist around you anymore just because my heart got a little tangled up. Like the fact that I cared in the wrong way erased all the ways I was still a good friend.
I miss you. I miss everything we shared — the late-night talks, the way you made me laugh even when I was having the worst day, the way I could always come to you and feel understood. I miss the inside jokes, the comfort, the safety of having you in my corner. I’ve caught myself so many times wanting to tell you something, or show you something funny, or ask for your opinion — only to remember that you’re just gone now. And that loss hits all over again.
Maybe this doesn’t fix anything. Maybe you won’t even read this. But I needed to say it. Because you meant more to me than I think you realize. And I wish you could’ve seen that my feelings weren’t a threat — they were just a reflection of how much I valued you. Not in a way that ever asked for anything back. Just in a way that wanted to stay close. And I wish you had given me the chance to explain that before walking away.