everytime someone convinces me to just be upset at you and over it i finally get some sleep and have a vivid dream where we’re holding each other again and that love is there. this sucks so bad and ive ruined everything bc of who i am and i wish i could just feel your hug one last time. im spiraling so hard into an awful unrecoverable place and i know its my fault but i really did love you more than anything and anyone. i have an impluse to reach out so instead of doing that im just sending here