Dear Ethan,

I’ve come to realize I always knew we’d never be together. I was never anything to you even though you were everything to me. You said you were afraid you’d hurt me every time I told you how much I loved you. It’s okay if you never truly loved me. I still love you. You told me it before and I should’ve believed you. Could you not at least have told me you had a boyfriend? I feel I deserved an explanation at the very least. Either way I wish you the best in life. I hope you get a therapist and improve yourself. I hope you can express your emotions the way you should. I hope you go to cosmetology school like you told me you wanted to, I’m sure you’ll be great. I hope he makes you happy. I hope you get along well with your family. I hope you get closure with your biological parents. I hope you are happy with your decision to choose him. I hope you’re really as happy as you seem in your TikToks. I’ve seen the comments on your videos, just like me they agree you’re handsome which I’m sure you know. I hope you never stop expressing yourself with your hair, face, and body mods. I don’t think I ever told you but you look great with your piercings, especially your new one barely saw. Pink looks good on you. I wish you eternal happiness. I wish you true love. I wish you a good life. I wish you true uninterrupted happiness that you absolutely deserve after everything you’ve been through. I wish you peace in your soul and mind. I wish you good health so that you no longer have migraines or random pains and illnesses. I wish you a long healthy life. I wish you a lifelong partner that will be with you through everything. I hope you know I’ll love you forever and that you can come to me for anything. Even now being strangers after nearly three years of talking almost daily I still care for you, I still love you and I always will in a way. I know it. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you as much as I should have been. I’m sorry I wasn’t the one for you. Please take care of yourself. You will always be my first love.