Why did you do this to me
Why did you marry someone in February, yet still message me in June, telling me you were thinking about me

You once told me that fate was meaningless, that we simply did not have a destined connection, and that you had accepted it. At first, I agreed with you. I could not understand it either. We have known each other for nearly ten years, from high school, to my move to the U.S., to your time in the military and your retirement.

I told you things. I knew every woman you’ve ever loved. We watched each other’s lives unfold quietly, silently, yet constantly present in each other’s world for a full decade. Sometimes we argued. Sometimes we stopped talking altogether, even though we were never officially together. And somehow, we always found our way back to speaking again.

What is strange is that we only met once in real life, when we were just high school kids. And yet, we stayed connected for ten years.

I once asked myself the same question you did. Maybe we truly had no fate together. Even though we matched on almost everything. Our mindset. Our taste in music. Our style. Our political views. We talked about everything. Music, politics, cars, fashion designers, finance, stocks. Even our birthdays fall in the same month, only days apart.

And yet, we never became us.

But now I understand. Heaven and the universe were protecting me. Or perhaps they were protecting you too. I am a spiritual person. I believe in forces beyond what we can explain. But only now do I truly understand the saying that some things do not work out because the universe is protecting you.

I believe heaven, the universe, Buddha, or my ancestors were shielding me from you. Because they knew who you are in love.

When you had a girlfriend, you still texted me. You still called me. You spoke about things you had always wanted to say to me. You told me I was beautiful. You liked my photos.

Is that what loyalty looks like

The most shocking part was this. You were already legally married, yet you still reached out to me. You told me I had a place in your mind. You told me you were drawn to me. The most absurd moment was when you sent me money to buy a dress while wearing an engagement ring with another woman.

Why
Why did you do that

Strangely, I feel light now. A quiet sense of relief. I no longer wonder about what if, about fate, or about us. I finally have my answer.

We would never have worked anyway.