I really hope that one day you find the link to this website like I have many times and you search your name on it looking for a letter to yourself. I know you’d be expecting to see a sweet love letter, a declaration of affection but that’s not what this is. You hurt me so much. I don’t even think you meant to but you did, more than I could ever express. I always wanted to find my person, the one just for me. The person I could call whenever I wanted. I loved you with my whole entire heart. I’d text you excitedly so much that now anytime I type your name it automatically autocorrects to be all caps. Normally I’d think it was sweet and I’d laugh and be happy but for some reason it’s taken far longer than it should’ve for me to realize you didn’t care for me half as much as I did for you. You’d always text other people when you were at my house but never text me with other people, you’d make plans in front of me but never invite me, you’d exclude me from conversation and try to act better than me. Act smarter than me. You are and I’ve known that for a long time. That you’re smarter and prettier than me. I would’ve done anything for you. You don’t understand that all I wanted was a best friend. All I wanted was someone who would love me with all their heart. You were the prettiest girl in the world to me. But every conversation I had with you felt forced. You were always ignoring me over the weekends when I’d ask to hang out and only respond last minute so you wouldn’t have to do anything with me. And I hope you know that I hate you a little for that. You could’ve told me you didn’t want to be around me, told me what I did wrong and I would’ve fixed it but instead you decided to be petty. I wanted more than anything for you to want to be around me. I stopped texting you because I always had to text you first for us to talk. If I didn’t we never would. And so we haven’t. Because you wanted to be somebody else’s friend more than mine. Now I can’t listen to my favorite tv girl song because in my mind I dedicated it to you, I get sad when I see the blue that’s the same shade of your eyes, I can’t watch shows or play games I’ve wanted to for years because you liked them and it breaks my heart to know that we aren’t best friends any more. I can’t stand to think about the school project we had to do about meeting our best friends and I wrote mine about yours, and you wrote yours about someone else. “T” if you were wondering by the way. That what his name starts with so you know this belongs to you. And if you’re reading this I’m sure you know it’s from me. So just know that I hate you a lot. I really do. But that hate comes from a place of the deepest and strongest love I’ve ever felt. And I don’t want to think it’s my fault, i genuinely don’t think it was because I tried my hardest to do everything for you when you didn’t care for me a single bit. But just know that it’s true, it really is. I hate you so much because of how much I loved you and it breaks my heart every time we sit near each other in the morning and not talk. And every time I look into your eyes that I loved because they were your favorite color. So if I did anything wrong I’m sorry, I really am. I just wish you’d apologize too because now I can never ever look at you the same way as I did before. So I’m sorry. I’ve felt like this for the longest time I just needed to put it out somewhere you could read it and know it’s about you. Even if you never see it. I hate/love you so much.