i mean i don’t think it’s to me for a number of reasons but it hurts to think of the reasons it could be, if it is you i just want you to know i can definitely understand where you’re coming from, but you’re mistaken about me, and if mistakes were made, they weren’t and never will be forever nor yours alone. i know you can understand where i’m coming from and i hope you take the time to talk about it with me sometime rather than drawing your conclusions from limited information. i didn’t avoid facing anything, i was trying to be considerate of you in my replies, and i wouldn’t have if i’d known it was causing you anxiety, i thought you said you were okay. i didn’t mean to be mean and i don’t know why you think i am, but i’m truly sorry, that wasn’t my intention, it never is. my actions were always based on how you might feel. i hope you can understand that one day. i think about how i make others feel too much too, and i know how that can incapacitate action, let alone communication. while attachment styles do originate outside of ourselves, i don’t blame people for my dysfunction there and am not sure what you’d be referring to. lastly, if it is you, my head was fine, it thought about you all the time, the “crush” was long lived, and while everything ends, ours would’ve been til death, if i had my way, and you were to join me in taking it. it still will be, and if you said “yes,” though not sure what that would be to, if you said you wanted to jump with me, i would’ve wanted to talk about endings before we began for very similar reasons. as far as i’m concerned, that one i mentioned is still the one i want with you. and it is you, you can tell me this, i want to know how you feel, i want you to know you can tell me, i wish you would’ve. i’ll be headed your way soon, and i have no way of knowing if that’s a waste of time, but i think even if you don’t need it, i wouldn’t call it that really. if this isn’t you, disregard, sorry for seeing something in it. if it is you tho, te amo. i’m deeply sorry for troubling you so much; hope to see you soon. with love, yours
ps. no matter what