I always think of you when I hear Brazil. I just want closure and to move on with my life so just say something already. I feel like I’m the only one that feels this way and I’m going insane . Yet every time I’m in the same room as you I get scared. You traumatized me yet I just want to at least talk to you one more time before graduation. I can’t make the first move it needs to be you. I’m not even saying to be friends again or whatever it was but just closure. I feel uneasy when I hear that song sometimes too, nostalgia yea but also how betrayed I felt . I know I have every right to hate you but looking back I was just wearing rose colored glasses. And I think it’s because you were genuinely the first friend I made on my own. I don’t care if it’s a dm on TikTok or you wait until graduation but just say something. I need to talk to you somehow, it’s eating me alive. I know you stare at me in the halls and across the caf before 1st period. I sense it every time like a trauma response. It’s been 5 years, I think it’s been enough time . When you came back in 10th grade it opened up the wound bc I thought u were out of my life for good and I could move on. My ears still perk up when I here ur dirt bike going down the street (idk y u do that cuz it ruins the tires) . Im making this as obvious as possible bc im done wasting time and energy on this. I want to move on with my life already and not have this toy at me. I liked you I really did. I look back and yea I was head over heels and I think you liked me too, but realizing you treated other like shit and heed everyone’s warning I left. I have morals . Then again looking back it was very petty since we were 14 and 13. But regardless you hurt me and I haven’t moved on from that pain, you don’t have a shot at dating me I’m just saying that now. So now that I’m done with my rant, Talk to me at the start of the day, I don’t know if it will help but I want to move on. I think you might want to as well. -Eden