i really, really miss you. i know it was childish to purposefully push you away because of my own feelings, and i regret it deeply, but i never wanted to be seen as your “little sister”. it’s true that i’ve seen you as an older brother sometimes, but i hate to say that from the start, i had feelings for you. i think about you everyday and i wish i could just go back to prevent us from drifting apart. it really hurt me when you told me you realized i was just like the other girls, even though you said it wasn’t a bad thing. i don’t want to be another girl in your list of people you’ve loved. you don’t even know how many times i cried over you, it’s kinda embarrassing. recently i realized that i’ve been isolating myself from everyone and reading my yaoi’s. it made me think of when i went “MIA” for like two or three days and you were worried. i hope you think of me sometimes, even if it’s just every once in awhile. i still love you a lot more than you think i do. to be honest, whenever we used talk about the future together, i was imagining us. (super embarrassing but yeah.) i hope in the future we can be best friends again, even if we’re not as close as before. at one point, i was really close to actually texting you, but i didn’t want to make things awkward whenever we see each other in person so i never ended up doing it. i don’t think i’ll ever have a bond like ours again, and i think i’m fine with that. remember when i sent you a bunch of “i love you” text messages to make up for the days i didn’t say it? i wish i could tell you i love you one more time. you told me you weren’t used to people telling you that, and i wanted to be the person to make you used to it. i know i’m not going to be that person, so whenever you find the right person for you, i hope they treat you better than i ever could. i still love you more than anything. 624.