idk this is js a vent ig but i js feel like i need smb but i know i shouldn’t want it get anyone because im genuinely a terrible person and i try and try to change but at the end im always back here in the same exact situation missing the times where i had someone but i know the only reason i hav nb is my own fault like if i could go back and be with the one girl that nm what i always miss and i know she hates me but i did her wrong ill be honest i cheated and for the life of me i could never figure out why but that’s all on me and i get that but she made me feel so loved and cared for and i did stupid shit like that yk but i loved as much as she prolly doesn’t believe it and i know i did and i probably always will bc she was my first in a lot of things like first kiss, first girl i hung out with, first makeout, first cuddle session as cringe as that might sound it was a great thing to experience and i was a druggie while i was dating her i mean i was vaping, smoking weed, shi i did pills a couple times all kinds of things i wish i could just get that one final chance and show her how much i wanna change for me but especially for her i miss her but she hates me and i think she has a man now but i really js really wish i wasent a ficking loser like i am i miss her and i love her if you ever see this olivia rickabaugh i love you nm what i fucked up and i hurt you but i would do anything in my power to see us together one last time ur still my sweet princess i love you.